I'm having a bikie baby

Apparently, at 27 weeks, my baby is able to hear sounds in utero. I fear I may be having a bikie baby as we've become addicted to the TV series "Sons of Anarchy", about a motorcycle club in Northern California. Great acting, great scriptwriting, lots of drama. Perfect.

Either that, or he/she will be a Real Housewife. I'm not sure what's worse?!

Even I wouldn't watch a Lara Bingle reality TV show. And that's saying something.

I love reality TV - when it's done properly and showcases entertaining people. But even I wouldn't sink as low as watching Lara Bingle in her own Kardashians-style reality TV show, as The Daily Telegraph is reporting today.

What is this talentless bimbo even famous for? Starring in a TV ad when she was 16, hooking up with an Aussie cricketer then dumping him, shagging a few D-List music and sporting stars and generally hanging around in Bondi thinking she's a fashion diva. From previous reports, she's dumb as a bag of rocks, can't act, is too short to model and is incapable of making it as a TV presenter because she can't remember a script or deliver lines. This doesn't leave much to work with if you want to make it in the entertainment industry. So logically, the next step is.... to star in a fly-on-the-wall show covering one's vacuous life.

There's a lot wrong with the world when girls like this think they can become famous for doing so little.

It was bad enough that she was wheeled out on the recent series of Australia's Next Top Model to mentor the model wannabes on "the perils of fame" and "dealing with the paparazzi". Here's a tip Lara: do something worthwhile with your life instead of chasing paparazzi and fame. Get a real job and pay your own way through life.

Daniel Craig recently gave an interview to GQ magazine about the rise of the talentless reality star who invites the public into their personal lives. As he so succinctly said:

"You can't buy it back - you can't buy your privacy back. Ooh I want to be alone. F*** you. We've been in your living room. We were at your birth. You filmed it for us and showed us the placenta and now you want some privacy?"

Whoopsie, I got divorced

I just watched this hilarious skit from Saturday Night Live about the Kardashian divorce. It's so perfect. I almost cried when Bruce Jenner appeared.

Cleaning out the Real Housewives franchise

Am loving that the Bravo producers have decided to fire four of the current seven New York housewives. People reports that Interfering Shrew Jill, Boring Alex, Dimwit Kelly and Even-More-Boring Cindy have all been given the heave-ho. Yay!!! The show was really quite dull last season and I put most of it down to Jill Zarin, who is just so self-absorbed and obsessed with self-promotion and her "celebrity" that she just brought down the show - and her co-stars.

Am really interested to see what new housewives they recruit. I hope they take the lead of the Beverly Hills franchise and get some seriously wealthy women like Lisa and Camille. Apparently filming begins in October and LuAnn, Ramona and Sonja are still on board. I can live with that. But enough with the catfights. Gossip and glamour is so much more fun to watch.

Oh my, that is one UGLY wedding band

Check out Kim Kardashian's new gigantic wedding band. Considering her engagement ring was such a monster, I'm guessing the word "understated" is not in her vocabulary. How heavy would this combo be?!

The most embarrassing reality TV spinoff business ever

This has made my day. Luann, the "Countess" from The Real Housewives of New York City has released her second "musical" offering to the world.

Or as I would rather put it: dressed up as a drag queen and recited some bad poetry over a dance beat.

Take a look at this cheap-looking but HYSTERICAL video to accompany her new single, "Chic c'est la vie". She's even recruited Kelly and Jill to sit in limos, wear bathrobes by a pool and dance sitting down in a nightclub. Somewhere in lower Manhattan, Bethenny is laughing herself sick.

What the hell kind of outfit is this?

Jersey Shore's Snooki is in Florence.

She had a car accident, hence the neck brace.

She has no brain, hence the outfit*.

*Although I like her bag. It's so unfair that she owns a Gucci bag but I don't.

How many carats is too many?

Kim Kardashian is now sporting a 20.5 carat engagement ring, valued at a whopping $2 million. Is this not ridiculously excessive? Not to mention probably really uncomfortable and a bit stressful to wear. Imagine if you lost it.

And I thought her sister Khloe's nine carat knuckleduster was excessive. Krazy.

Phrases that drive me nuts

Everything happens for a reason (my ALL-TIME hated phrase)
Wow factor
It was totally surreal
Fairly unique, totally unique, very unique (kill me)
I literally died (I wish you had)
Yummy mummy
Azure blue seas
State of the art
At this point in time
In no way, shape or form
Win-win situation
It goes without saying
A whole new level
Legendary (there are no "legendary Beijing rock bands")
Iconic (no, that "legendary" Beijing rock band is not iconic either)
You're so random
Without further ado (and even worse... without further adieu. Aaaaaaagh!)
Don't get me wrong
Do you know what I mean
It's all good
Rolling coverage

Don't know what I'm talking about?  Watch this:

When two loves collide...

When two loves collide: reality TV and magazines.

And an interesting article here.

It's a smart move from Forbes to put Bethenny Frankel, an incredibly popular reality TV star on the cover. Love her or hate her, she's parlayed her reality TV appearances into a multi-million dollar fortune.

So, I have a question.....

Could Jennifer Lopez EVER sing like this?

So why is she judging a singing competition?  To perform her latest single "live" I guess....

You've gotta love the complexity of her lyrics. Not.

"Brazil, Morocco, London to Ibiza, Straight to LA, New York, Vegas to Africa"

Cities, countries, islands, cities and er.... a continent.

I could listen to this song all day

Adele's voice is unbelievable. I loved her last album, but I love her latest, 21, even more. I can't stop playing it. The first track is my favourite.

And she can really sing live.  Ah, to have even a shred of her talent...

Edited to add: just watched this week's American Idol and my favourite, Haley Reinhart, chose to sing this in the latest show. How's that for timing. And her version is pretty damn great.

I'd love her to win as I think she's the most talented by far but I kinda hope she doesn't take the crown. She deserves a record deal that will let her make music like this and not the manufactured dross they usually lump the winners with.

I just don't get this look

This was Sophie Monk yesterday at a media awards night. She's 31 years old.

I remember when she first found fame; it was on one of the first reality TV programmes, Popstars, the search for an all-female pop group. I can even recall her audition. She was so fresh-faced and naturally pretty. She also had a fun personality and some actual singing talent. But then came Hollywood. And lip injections and god knows what else. 

Sophie Monk (about 10 years ago)

Is this what what we're now classifying as "beauty"?

Courteney Cox is another one that bothers me. She always struck me as a pretty smart cookie. But in the past few years, it's like her face belongs in a wax museum. It's always the same taut expression.

 

Kylie Minogue and Nicole Kidman are the other main offenders. Attractive women who've gone overboard in chasing the fountain of youth. Who are they fooling?

And then there's the Real Housewives of Orange County -- the land of the whippet thin, duck-lipped, big-breasted, bleach-blond Barbie doll reality TV star. And if you think it's scary in a still photo, try watching them in action in high-definition*. Absolutely nothing moves.

* Don't go thinking I hate this show. It's utter trash but I absolutely love it!