We need to stage a cosmetic intervention

Dear Duchess,
You're doing a great job as a new royal, but could I ask you to please listen to Vivienne Westwood. If you haven't heard, she was just quoted in The Sunday Times about your sartorial misses; "I think she's got a problem with eye make-up. The sharp line around her eyes makes her look hard. Either she should be smudgy or wear none".

I know you say don't want to be a clothes horse, but losing half your body weight in a year has kinda made me suspicious. Let's make a deal; if you won't eat, will you at least put down the black kohl eyeliner and pick up a darker lipstick? That black ringed eye and pale lip is just not working.

Best wishes
Busybody of Shanghai

ps. Could you pass the message on to Pippa and your mum too.

The unhappiest bride EVER

I was just watching the CNN live coverage of the Monaco royal wedding. Man, I've never seen a more unhappy bride in my life. That chick did NOT want to be there. She was in some serious pain looking at her "beloved". I hope the pain is worth it.

But besides that, I can't believe we now have a Princess Charlene. Isn't that like calling someone Princess Sharon or Countess Luann?!

Who could forget this Charlene?

One Friday, two weddings

First up: Kate Moss married her rocker boyfriend Jamie Hince in a village wedding yesterday. I like that she's posed publicly for photos and not sold an exclusive deal to a mag.Her John Galliano dress is lovely and she's stayed true to her bohemian leanings. But I wished she'd brushed her hair. The less said about his powder blue double-breasted skinny pant suit the better...

Second up: Prince Albert of Monaco and his new bride Charlene Wittstock pose after their civil ceremony. The big bash comes today, where she'll presumably wear a fancier white dress and amp it up a notch. Am not loving this blue Armani ensemble at all. The blues don't match. And what's up with that lace hem?

Tasteless magazine cover of the year

This Newsweek cover is so disturbing on a number of levels.

Firstly, it's a horribly designed cover, full of bad Photoshop. And what is that random guy doing walking behind them? Surely it would have more impact if he'd been edited out?

Secondly, I'd expect this from People magazine or US Weekly, but not Newsweek.

Thirdly, it's in poor taste. How would Tina Brown know what Diana would be thinking, wearing and doing now? Let her rest in peace. This is Kate's moment. Not Diana's.