Stupid quote of the day: "I'll eat when I'm dead"

Apparently this is what fashion follower / socialite Daphne Guinness told a stylist on a New York photo shoot.

And judging by her physique, she's not joking.  Silly woman.

More Emmys fashion - the ugly

Whoa. Paz de la Huerta's makeup and hair is even worse up close.

What kind of haircut is that exactly? A half-head mullet?

And what colour do you call that lipstick: grey, beige, greige?

More Emmys fashion - the good

Archie Panjabi

I'm a big fan of her on The Good Wife, and I love her choice of dress here. 

Simple, bold and incredibly flattering.

Sofia Vergara

I had discounted this in still photos, but when she was on stage, she was a knockout. The earrings are verging on a Miss Universe-style look, but you can't deny that the cut of this dress accentuates her amazing figure fabulously.

Claire Danes

Now this is how you do sequins in a classy way: keep the hair and accessories simple and let the dress do the talking. 

Kerry Washington

This girl is WAY too thin, but this dress is absolutely gorgeous. Funnily enough, she didn't look this emaciated on TV.  Maybe the camera really does add 10 pounds. Scary.

Rachael Taylor

I love this icy blonde goddess look this Aussie actress has going here. The sequins are on trend, but she keeps it modern with a great new haircut and subtle styling.

Cobie Smulders

Now this is not my favourite shade of blue. However, the detail on this chiffon Alberta Ferretti gown is just so beautiful that it has made me reconsider this colour. Am loving the drop earrings and shorter hair.

Kristin Wiig

Again, this was a dress that I'd skipped past on first viewing, but the whole look is
growing on me. Brown is a hard colour to pull off, but I like the bold choice and understated styling.

Emmys fashion- the good, the bad and the ugly

You know I love an Awards show!!  And today is the Emmys. Who got it right and who got it wrong on the red carpet? Here goes:

TOP 10 BEST DRESSED

1. Christine Baranski 

This is perfection. I love this structured Zac Posen dress. 

It is classic black but not boring. Love the contrast bag.

2. Michelle Forbes

She's not a well-known star, so her sophisticated look is appropriate and striking.

3. Christina Hendricks

I think this is her best red carpet look to date. Love the hair, love the sparkles, love the classic styling.

4. Emily Blunt

This is gorgeous. Loving this dark navy colour. 

It looks classy and elegant, but still bang on trend with the beading.

5. Rashida Jones

She makes this blush pink gown less girly by adding a 

deep red lipstick and interesting bracelets.

6. Katie Holmes: 

It's rare that she ever gets fashion right, but I do love this simple look. 

The colour and cut is bold enough not to worry with excessive jewels or fancy hair.

7. Maria Bello

The nude, sequin gown seems to be a trend tonight. See also Cat Deeley, Jennifer Carpenter and Taraji P. Henson. But I like this look the best. Mostly because of her simple styling.

8. Lena Headey

 This could have turned into a Goth look, but it didn't. And I love it. Her hair, makeup, belt buckle and earrings are fantastic.

9. Julie Bowen

I'm not usually a fan of sequins and deep plunging necklines, but she keeps this classy 

by styling her hair in a pony tail and keeping the jewellery simple.

10. Evan Rachel Wood

Loving the silhouette of this gown. The tasteful jewels, makeup and hair offsets the beading perfectly.

THE TOP 10 WORST-DRESSED

1. Gywneth Paltrow

This could have been the best-dressed of the night. Her hair, makeup and jewels are fabulous and understated and the sequins, cap sleeves and pattern are gorgeous. But she can't help her attention-seeking ways.  Why would you ever cut this gorgeous dress in half? Who wants to wear a crop top to the Emmys?!! We get it: you exercise. Now go away.

2. Heidi Klum

What in God's name is this monstrosity? Major fail. I wish Seal would do up some of those buttons and take those silly sunglasses off. As a couple, they look like they're going to a fancy dress party not an awards show.

3. Juliana Margulies

I love her in The Good Wife, but this is just horrible. The hem is too long and her 

helmet hair is just awful. That bodice looks like a chewed-up orthopadic back brace.

4. Elisabeth Moss

I love you in Mad Men, but why did you decide to audition for Dancing on Ice tonight of all nights?  I am calling this look; "When Nude Gowns Go Bad". Let's not even talk about the hair.

5. Olivia Munn

The colour is initially striking, but the fit is just awful. Stripes, satin, 

spaghetti strap/cowl neck, belt and train. Way, way too going on.

6. Paz de la Huerta

I suspect this chick is a nutjob. Why else would you think this make-up looks good?

7. Loretta Devine

I don't even know who she is, but I do know she needs to be wearing a bra.

8. Kyle Richards

Now, I love a reality star, but not at the Emmys. And not in a blue taffeta monstrosity. 

Is that a fishtail with a ruffled hem? Oh dear. 

9. Jayma Mays

Ice-skating costume above the waist, toilet doll below. Hideous pink all over.

10. Padma Lakshmi

This should work, but it doesn't. I'm blaming that 

assymetrical seam on her mid-section. And her greasy make-up.

I don't really get this Lanvin fashion campaign?

A YouTube video has gone viral of fashion label Lanvin's Fall/Winter campaign for 2011/2012.  It shows a bunch of models dancing really badly to a Pitbull soundtrack while wearing Lanvin threads.

Is it a parody?

Is the dancing bad on purpose?

Does Karen Elson really have such bad rhythm?  (I love her "The Ghost Who Walks" album so surely she doesn't?)

So many questions. Here, check it out:

Why would you pose on a red carpet like this?

At last night's VMAs, Katie Holmes decided to pose like she had two broken legs. Not attractive. And really very weird.

But this wasn't an aberration, this seems to be her go-to pose of choice.  See other recent examples:

My theory is this: she hates her thick legs but thinks by posing in this weird push-back, legs akimbo on an angle kind of pose, that we'll be fooled into thinking she has lovely thin legs. Sorry Katie, you just look weird. Embrace your cankles and stand up straight! Or wear longer dresses or pants. The jig is up.

We need to stage a cosmetic intervention

Dear Duchess,
You're doing a great job as a new royal, but could I ask you to please listen to Vivienne Westwood. If you haven't heard, she was just quoted in The Sunday Times about your sartorial misses; "I think she's got a problem with eye make-up. The sharp line around her eyes makes her look hard. Either she should be smudgy or wear none".

I know you say don't want to be a clothes horse, but losing half your body weight in a year has kinda made me suspicious. Let's make a deal; if you won't eat, will you at least put down the black kohl eyeliner and pick up a darker lipstick? That black ringed eye and pale lip is just not working.

Best wishes
Busybody of Shanghai

ps. Could you pass the message on to Pippa and your mum too.

What's Warnie done to himself?!

So Elizabeth Hurley has clearly been advising her new beau, Australia's cricketing bad boy Shane Warne, on how to evolve into a wax figure with an in-built paparazzi honing beacon.

He's clearly had an aggressive eyebrow wax and some botox, but I swear he's now wearing mascara, foundation and lip gloss as well. Dear God.

Check out the couple here on their way to Elton John's White Tia and Tiara Ball in England last night.

Bring back the bogan!

An award for "services to yoga". Are you kidding me?

Last night, Gwyneth was honoured with an award for "her immense contributions to the yoga community". Read about it here and here. 

That's got to be one of the LAMEST reasons for an award ever. Truly, this is ridiculous. People seriously attended an event to see her accept this award. And she accepted?! The world is crazy. 

I want an award "for services to reality TV devotion". Maybe I can borrow Gwyneth's pink Oscars dress  to accept my trophy? 

Rachel Zoe and other fashion stylists are weeping

Frances McDormand showed up to accept her Tony Award in an outfit that was surely a comment on the ubiquitous influence of the fashion industry on the acting world. Or maybe she just forgot to pick up her dry cleaning and missed her hairdressing appointment?  Either way, I love it.

I love fashion (and I particularly love bad fashion choices on celebrities!) but when the first questions often asked of actors is "what are you wearing?" instead of "how do you feel about the role?" I can see that those who take their craft seriously must get pretty annoyed. Go Frances with your stripey, denim self.

Well done Vogue

I must confess that I am not a Harry Potter fan and don't know all that much about Emma Watson. But I do like this cover; it's one of Vogue's best. The styling is impeccable and her make-up is fantastic. And I love that silver wall.

What the hell kind of outfit is this?

Jersey Shore's Snooki is in Florence.

She had a car accident, hence the neck brace.

She has no brain, hence the outfit*.

*Although I like her bag. It's so unfair that she owns a Gucci bag but I don't.

Imaginary conversations

"I watched your wedding on TV Kate, you looked lovely. But have you eaten since then?"

"So Sam, I love what you've done with the place. But do you find your saucepans get a fine layer of grease after you've cooked. I find that happens with my open shelves. What's your secret?"

My favourite Cannes 2011 looks

I love the red carpet at Cannes. It's so full of DRAMA compared to other big events like the Oscars. Big, bold looks work well here, especially for the film premieres. And for the photocalls: fresh, simple looks are the go.  

My far and away favourite is Zoe Saldana, closely followed by Uma Thurman in her electric blue number. And I love seeing the return of Kirsten Dunst. In a sea of over-styled starlets, it's nice to see someone willing to take a bit more of a risk here and there.

Zoe Saldana in Armani Prive

Uma Thurman in Armani Prive

Uma Thurman in Versace

Kirsten Dunst in Chloe

Angelina Jolie in Ferragamo

Penelope Cruz in Stella McCartney

Tilda Swinton in Haider Ackermann

Kirsten Dunst in Chanel

Mia Wasakowska in Roland Mouret